Wednesday, November 30, 2011

One door closes, many more open

It's a good thing I'm not made out of metal because I'd probably be rusty now. I've been crying a lot these past few days. It happens. Sometimes life is sad. If I'm honest with myself, I hadn't been happy in a couple months. I wanted things to work out, but I was letting myself be bullied into doing things I didn't want to do and I was turning into someone I didn't want to be. I gave everything I had but it still wasn't enough. And I thought that meant that I wasn't enough. Then Dangers said that he hated how the relationship was limiting me and my awesomeness, and I realized he had a point. I don't want things in my life that make me feel bad about myself. I want to be the happy person that I am at heart.
As much as I feel hurt and sad right now, I also feel a sense of freedom and possibility. I'm sick again (I still can't shake this stupid chest cold. I think it's from all the stress of the past months), I'm single and there is a hole in my ceiling, but I feel strangely optimistic, as if anything could happen, and I can't wait to see what's next.

Read in a magazine: "Every single thing you are living right now, no matter how difficult, is here to help you become the most empowered person you can possibly imagine." I really hope that's true.

Lyric of the moment: "If this is what love is and if this is what trust is, count me out..."

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