Friday, December 2, 2011

Let go, jump in, new adventures will begin

I went to see T.E. yesterday because it's where I go when I need perspective. He looks at the situation objectively, helps me see if I am being irrational and when I doubt myself, he makes me feel like I am normal and sane. Everyone I talk to is relieved at the break up, they were worried about things they saw but didn't want to say anything. T.E. said that I am nice by default and I give in to things because I want people to like me. He said I need to value myself more and that, if I ever again feel afraid to say what I think or find myself giving in just to keep the peace, I  need to recognize that as a big red flag and get out. He said that getting out of an unhealthy relationship dynamic is a success, not a failure. And I agree, though it's still sad to lose someone I love.

But I will get through this the way I get through everything. Take the best from it, learn from it, let it make me stronger and move on.

Every day I can feel myself getting happier. The more I go out with friends and accept invitations and reach out to people I haven't talked to in a while, the better I feel. All the happiest times in my life are when I'm surrounded by people, talking about anything and everything, laughing and having a good time. It's hard for me to be social sometimes because I'm still so shy, but I have to keep putting myself out there. I have to keep taking risks and wearing my heart on my sleeve and running through life with unbridled optimism.

The rest of that quote from The Holiday:

"...And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back..."

The psychic said that the universe would give me whatever I wanted this year, I only have to ask for it. So Universe, what I really want is to go new places and try new things and spend time with awesome and hilarious people. I'd like to go on a fabulous trip. I want to feel like part of a team. And I'd love to cross the finish line of an epic race holding someone's hand. Thank you times infinity squared. Love always, Robot.

Lyric of the moment: "He and I, it's something beautiful, but so dysfunctional it couldn't last. Loved him so but I let him go 'cause I knew he'd never love me back..."

1 comment:

  1. so we all gotta plan some sort of epic race... i am thinking a ragnar? i wanted to, then i didnt, now i do... thoughts?