Sunday, December 4, 2011


The truth is that if I had it all to do again, I would. Without hesitation. I never regret anything that ever made me happy, anything I ever gave or anyone I ever loved. I feel like an idiot for starting to think that this true love stuff could ever happen for me, but regardless of how it ends or how long it lasts, love is always worth it. Giving all I have and going all in is always worth it.

The thing about that awkward girl with the glasses and headgear is that she was fearless. She climbed trees and walked on top of the monkey bars. She grew up to jump out of airplanes and run marathons. She is scrappy and she will be fine. If she stops talking about herself in the third person.

I may give up the running streak. At first it was a release but now it feels like I am punishing myself. When I get sad, I have a tendency to withdraw, to work out more, eat less, try to make myself invisible. That's no good and I'm not going to do it. There are too many things I want to do and so much delicious cake I want to eat. Onward and upward. The journey to Awesometown resumes.

Lyric of the moment: "Say whatever you have to say, I'll stand by you. Do whatever you have to do, to get it out and not become a reactionary to hurt the ones you love. You know you never meant to but you do, oh yeah you do. Be whoever you have to be, I won't judge you. Sing whatever you have to sing to get it out and not become a recluse about your house, come out, I know you never meant to but you do, oh but you do. And take whatever you have to take, you know I love ya. Come however you have to come, and get it out and get it out. Take it out on me, take it out on me. I'll give you all, yes I will give you all..."

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