Monday, May 21, 2012

A Jen divided against itself cannot stand

Dear Jen,

We know you're upset about what happened in the Poconos, but get over it. If running 22 miles instead of 26.2 is the worst thing that happens to you, your life is pretty freaking good. And we're upset too. For over a month we've been trying to tell you that something's wrong, that we're injured and need rest, but you wouldn't alter your race schedule. We kept trying to get your attention - the posterior tibial tendon pain, mad blisters from that stupid tape you put on our feet, even some chest pain as a last resort - but it took you 22 miles to realize that you were just injuring yourself more for no reason. It's only one race, one day. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and take the long view. If you want to keep running well into old age, you have to let go of individual workouts and races and focus on getting and staying healthy.

Maybe you should stick to fall marathons since you always fall apart at the spring ones. What? Too soon? Seriously though, you have to chill out. We do the best we can to do everything you ask of us, but you never give us any credit. You don't take care of us. You call us fat and ugly and lazy. We were looking forward to going on the zip line but you didn't take us because you didn't think you deserved it. In the car on the way home you actually asked Mike if he still loved you and, even worse, you half expected him to say no. If anyone else was as mean to us as you are, we'd never speak to them again. This isn't working. It's not us, it's you. And since neither of us can live without the other, we have a few demands:

1. Feed us high quality fuel at regular intervals. We don't know why none of the health care professionals you've been to have mentioned this, but look up which foods reduce inflammation and promote healing and eat those. Cut way back on sugar. It increases inflammation.

2. Stop being so hard on us and saying mean things about us. You can relax and accept us the way we are. It doesn't mean you'll end up sitting on the couch eating Cheetos all day. You can let yourself live without letting yourself go.

3. Take some time off. For real this time. Take us to yoga and spinning. Stop whining about how you're too fat for a bathing suit and get in the pool. We've always liked the water. If you don't know how to do something, ask. You'll learn. We'll run again when we're ready, whenever that is. Don't stress about it.

4. Stop getting so upset when things don't turn out the way you wanted. If you can't do what you love right now, then love what you can do. Everything happens for a reason and you're right where you're supposed to be, so enjoy it. Or something like that. We're not in charge of that stuff, we're just a bunch of cells.

For better or for worse, til death do us part,
Your body

Lyric of the moment: "I won't run, I won't fly, I will never make it by without you..."

No comments:

Post a Comment