Friday, May 4, 2012

The Pain Terminator and new levels of ridiculousness

So there I was, staring at my leg, in utter exasperation, pleading "Use your words. Just tell me what to do to make you better." And that was when I knew I had reached a new level of ridiculousness. I've been trying everything I can think of to fix whatever is going on with my right ankle. I got a massage. I went to acupuncture. I bought the Chinese topical analgesic the acupuncturist recommended (I think it's basically Icy Hot but it's called Pain Terminator, which is a much better name. And really, how could I not try something called Pain Terminator?) I've been stretching and icing and forcing myself to hit the elliptical and the bike instead of the pavement. I bought new running shoes. I made an appointment with a sports medicine doctor for next week. At this point, if he tells me to stand on my head while juggling bananas, I will do that too. Well, I will attempt to do it then end up on the floor covered in bananas. And then probably eat one of said bananas.

Sometimes it feels better and other times my ankle is all "Hey, remember me? I'm being weird again. You'll never solve the mystery of what is wrong with me. Mwuahahaha." It's the evil laughter that hurts the most.

I'm debating whether to run tomorrow or go to spin class. I'd like to do one more long run before the marathon but I also want to be 100% healthy at the starting line. Hopefully the Pain Terminator will work its magic and I'll wake up tomorrow feeling like a million bucks. Bonus for waking up with a million bucks, but I'm hoping for the feeling more than the currency. Definitely not the animal. How creepy would it be to wake up and see a million deer staring at you? Shudder.

Lyric of the moment: "Skeleton we have been friends for years. And you have seen me through some trials and tribulations and some tears. But everybody thinks I'm weird. And I should have known that it wouldn't be long, until you, you've got me standing in an awkward position. With unwanted attention and a need for explanation. And it's not that I'm letting go of you. But I don't know what to do..."

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