Thursday, July 12, 2012

And the point is to live everything

I recently read Joan Anderson's A Year By The Sea* and the first page contains the following quote from Rainer Maria Rilke:

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers."

I get it. Be patient, be happy with what you have, embrace life, etc. But if the point is to live everything, that means embracing the sorrows and the joys, the challenges and the triumphs. The thing about those "live in the moment" people is that they're probably sitting on a beach somewhere eating ice cream. No wonder they're all "be here now." That's a pretty sweet moment to be in. I don't think a person who is, say, getting mauled by a bear, would be so into the moment. He's not sitting around thinking, I'm so in this moment right now, I mean this is living. The searing pain as that bear rips off my arm. The blood gushing everywhere. This is a totally unique experience I'm having right now.  

I know I'm being cynical, but sometimes it's hard to be happy when I'm just not feeling it. I suppose dissatisfaction can be a harbinger of change. Though I don't want to linger in those moments. I want to get past the bad stuff as quickly as possible so I can get back to the good. But I'm learning that some things can't be hurried.

If there's one thing I have, it's questions, though I'm not sure how to go about living them. I guess I'll have to keep wandering. And be grateful I'm not being mauled by a bear.

Lyric of the moment: "I'll be counting up my demons, yeah. Hoping everything's not lost..."

*My favorite part of the book is Joan's old lady friend, who calls her up and says "Hi dear, want to get into some trouble today?" That's the kind of old lady I want to be someday. Actually, that's the kind of lady I want to be now.

1 comment:

  1. Its time for a run... We are in Bflo this weekend.. next week I am free... when and where... we could even push it hard to flush the gunk out!!

    Let me know!