Monday, December 3, 2012

Kinda sorta some of the time

Over the weekend, I watched the movie Ruby Sparks at a friend's place. I didn't like most of the characters, (except for the dog. And Antonio Banderas!) or the way it ended, but I found the subject very interesting. The main character is a writer, struggling to follow up the success of his first novel and with his personal relationships. He invents a female character who becomes real and whatever he writes about her actually happens. Whenever she does something he doesn't like, he runs to his typewriter and changes her. They get into a big fight which culminates in a heartbreaking scene that is hard to watch without wanting to punch him in the face. He is jealous, whiny, needy, controlling and acts like a complete asshole. But it all stems from his underlying loneliness and insecurities, and ultimately he does the right thing. Which doesn't excuse his behavior, but makes him entirely human. And I have such a soft spot for humans. So while I wanted to dislike him, I mostly felt bad for him. My favorite part was his monologue at the end, where he says "falling in love is an act of magic." Because I hope it's true.

We all want to be accepted for who we are. But I think we're a lot more likely to find an accepting and loving partner if we ourselves are an accepting and loving partner. Relationships aren't about controlling the other person and always getting our way. They're about love and compromise and making a continual, conscious choice to be with someone and give him/her our best.

Or at least that's the kind of relationship I would want. So I hope it exists. And that I kinda sorta know what I'm talking about. Some of the time.

Lyric of the moment: "I guess we thought that's just what humans do. Letting darkness grow, as if we need its palette and we need its color. But now I've seen it through, and now I know the truth. That anything could happen. Baby, I'll give you everything you need. But I don't think I need you..."

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