Saturday, December 15, 2012

Ridiculous things

I can't remember ever trying to impress anyone. First of all, there's nothing particularly impressive about me. Secondly, why would I pretend to be something I'm not? I want people to like me for who I am. So I have to be who I am. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Sometimes what I am is a person who, when overtired, says things that are ridiculous and/or probably better left unsaid. But I'd rather err on the side of honesty than omission.

It occurred to me that maybe I have been afraid to like anyone because what if he doesn't like me back? My gut reaction is that would be sad. But the truth is that all it would be is a blatant sign that he is not the right guy for me. And I'd rather have unrequited feelings that no feelings at all.

Sometimes...ok, often times, I do this thing where I ponder all the what ifs of a situation, all the things that could go wrong. And I mean crazy, ridiculously improbable things. And then I ask myself if it's worth the risk. The answer is almost always yes.

Because the good things can't get in if I don't open myself up to them. And yeah, some less than desirable things might sneak in too, but I'll learn from them or laugh at them or make the best of them and keep going.

So whatever happens, I think it will be good. Though I really hope the next guy I date, if he decides to break up with me, does so in a robot voice. Because that would take something sad and turn it into something amazing.

Lyric of the moment: "So I'll be bold as well as strong. And use my head alongside my heart..."

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