Friday, January 25, 2013

Because everything is funny

I am easily amused, which is delightful because it makes life all the more hilarious.

Things that are funny:

*My ever growing collection of ridiculous winter hats. Whenever I wear them, strangers come up and start talking to me, like the woman at Wegmans who randomly told me which scratch off lottery tickets are the best ones to buy and the woman at the gas station near my house who recited her dissertation on gas prices in the greater Rochester area (I think her thesis statement was something about the Quick Fill in Henrietta, but I can't be sure) and the man at the coffee shop who told me he liked my hat (which I found especially funny since he was wearing the most ridiculous striped pants. Awesome, right?).

*Watching football with my dad.
Me (yelling to my dad, who had just left the room): Interception!
Dad: Who threw it?
Me: The red guy.
Dad: There are communists in this game?
Me: (cracking up)
Mom: Don't laugh at him, he's not funny.

*Everything Bill says. "Pretty please with...what's that expression?...butter on top?" And "Cheese it! The cops are coming! We used to say that when I was a kid."

*Wilbur randomly ripped all the stuffing out of the arm of my parents' couch while they were at work. (Which would probably be less funny if it were my couch.) Normally, he's not destructive at all. In fact, he has the dog equivalent of a daintily-drinking-tea-with your-pinkie-out temperament.  I totally wish there was a video of it so we could see what possessed him to go all weirdo Fight Club on the couch. I'm picturing him saying, in a Billy Madison voice, "Stop looking at me couch!"

*This conversation with my bro:
Me: Did you eat a whole pig on your birthday?

TJ: I had some help, but yes. We had 18 and they require 10...but we didn't even finish it...they have a bunch of sides and starters and stuff too.
Me: You should have asked for the pig to be stuffed with their second finest food. TJ: I should have. The place has really good food.
Me: Did you eat the brains?
TJ: I tried it yea. Spread it on some hard bread with a spritz of lemon....needed more lemon.
Me: eww. I wonder if that's how zombies eat brains.
TJ: I think they like them raw, but possibly with lemon.
Me: Fancy zombies use Grey Poupon.
TJ: oo that's probably true.

Lyric of the moment: "Every glorious disaster every bond is gonna bring you faster out into the light..." (Because I like the idea that disasters can be as glorious as triumphs.)

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