Wednesday, February 27, 2013


The upside to downfall:
I guess practice makes perfect because the older I get the better I am at falling with minimal injury. As compared to when I was younger and, for example, TJ and I decided it would be a great idea for him to ride his bike and pull me behind him on rollerblades. (That did not end well for me). Considering my general lack of grace and the inevitability of future stumbles, it's nice to know I can now fall to my hearts content with minimal risk.

Rebel without a cause:
If I am fated to become an old maid, I plan on being the most awesome sauce old maid ever. Things I will do: whatever I damn well feel like doing. Things I will not do: feel old, clean anything, live with any cats.

Workers Comp:
After hearing about my running fall, Bill came into my office and handed me 68 cents, saying "I don't know the workers comp laws but this is all the change I had on my desk."

Text messages from Mom:
Sometimes I think I don't know what love is. And then I am reminded...
Mom: How are you?
Me: I'm ok.
Mom: Ok is a term that should be reserved for so-so movies and for meals that fill us but don't taste like anything. You, my precious child are a beautiful, unique individual that is superior to many and who is most definitely "phenomenal" but perhaps is having an "ok" day...

Things not to say to a single person (or anyone at all really):
#147, brought to you by my dental hygienist, "You can have my husband."
What I said: Nothing. I just made a face that was all "Seriously, woman?!"
But there was totally an explosion of sarcastic comments going on in my brain: "Oh jeez, really? Thanks, you just solved all my problems." " he hot?" "I'd rather you go back to jamming sharp instruments into my gums. No, really." "I come here for the free toothbrushes but I stay for the free husbands." "Oh honey, no."

Space-Time-TV Continuum:
I can't decide if Community's Inspector Spacetime (clearly a Doctor Who parody) episode was the best thing ever or an indication that I watch way too much TV. I love TV shows inside other TV shows and when everything is a parody of something else. At the end, Abed said "But maybe there's a reason the inspector always chooses a human companion. He's an alien but his human friends keep him grounded and invested in the world...Maybe all relationships are made up of logical inspectors and emotional constables and we need them both to make Space and Time a better place." Well that explains a lot.

This passage from the book I'm currently reading made me laugh out loud (as opposed to laughing on the inside, which I also do quite frequently)

"The most powerful booze in the world is found in Kerala. It is called Jesus Christ."
"Why is it called Jesus Christ?"
"If you drink it, you will rise only on the third day."

I'm totally going to tell that joke on Easter.

Lyric of the moment: "And I know I'm dead on the surface, but I am screaming underneath..."

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