Thursday, March 21, 2013

Wildness and adventure

A few nights ago I was watching 12 Monkeys on TV, but I fell asleep partway through. I checked Netflix but they didn't have it. Then last night I was at Adam's for burritos and Doctor Who and happened to mention 12 Monkeys. He got up, walked over to his shelf, then handed me his 12 Monkeys DVD. Sometimes that's all it takes. You happen to mention what you want and life hands it to you. It's not usually that immediate or effortless, but it seems like the universe has given me everything I need, and most of what I ask for, exactly when I needed it.

Sometimes I forget this and I get all when is it going to happen? seriously, when? how about now? are we there yet? when I should just relax and trust that everything is and will be copacetic.

If a unicorn says it, it must be true.
Maybe once I'm able to articulate what I desire and become more open to the opportunities around me, the rest just sort of takes care of itself.
Or something like that. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm not very Machiavellian. I don't believe the ends justify the means. I've found that if I don't enjoy the process, the results are sort of irrelevant. I don't want to force myself to do things I dislike just to get somewhere I may not even want to be.

But I don't know how to get where I want to be. I just want wildness and adventure. (Dear universe, hint hint).

Lyric of the moment: "I'll just read a book instead. I don't care if we're just friends. I can hang out with myself. I'm old enough now to pretend..." (I love Kate Nash because all her songs are the story of my life but also make me laugh. See especially: "Why're you being a dickhead for? You're just fucking up situations.")

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