Friday, August 16, 2013

The agony of da feet

Sometimes I get annoyed at my parts and I have these tantrums where I'm all like stupid parts, you can't even run 50 miles or fly or do anything cool. And then I go run up Cobb's Hill a bunch of times and think about how, the first time I ever ran it, at a high school cross country meet, I couldn't even make it up one time without walking. And now I can run it as many times as I want. Which, admittedly tops out at about 4 before I'm like enough of this shit, I want a bagel.

Structurally, I am very poorly designed. I found out just how poorly yesterday, when I went for an evaluation at the Foot Performance Center. My feet are too flat. My proximal phalanges and metatarsals are too short. I have this weird bone on top of my foot that's all jacked up. So things aren't aligned correctly and my feet overpronate, which stresses my tendons and knees.

And sometimes, particularly when I'm starting to fatigue, I feel like I'm too fat to be a runner. I get tired of carrying myself around and think why are you so freaking heavy, legs? are you made of metal? And then I think stop being asinine and keep running.

Faced with the mounting evidence that I'm not built for running, I started to get a little disheartened. (I'm not sure what it is I am built for. Kicking myself in the knee while getting out of bed? That happens painfully more often than I'd like.) And then I thought, so what? I've been running for 17 years and if I have my way, I'm going to keep running until I die (a non-running related death, hopefully). I'm not going to let all the things that are wrong with me stop me from doing what I want to do. So take that, biomechanics.

I'd like to think that what I lack in genetic blessings and innate talent, I make up for in stubbornness and sheer force of will. But who knows. If the Foot Performance guy can make me some orthotics that are actually comfortable and that keep my parts aligned so they can get up to being awesome, I'll take 'em. Because I'm practically bursting at the seams from all the adventures I want to have and the life I want to live. And I need all my parts to be working as best they can.

Lyric of the moment: "My body tells me no. But I won't quit. 'Cause I want more, 'cause I want more..."

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