Friday, March 21, 2014

Riddle of the saucy minx

Whenever I encounter people I haven't seen in a while, they usually ask me "Are you still running?" or "Where's your next trip?" or they tell me about some new explosion of sugary awesomeness. Apparently these are the things I'm known for: running and travel and dessert. Which is fine by me since those are three of my favorite things. But I'm curious about how other people see me. Not that I'm particularly unique or interesting or anything. Just because it's so hard to be objective about oneself. I see things through the lens of my own experiences and other people see things through the lens of their own experiences, so there are bound to be some discrepancies.

I want to be authentically me, flaws and all, both online and in person, but how do I know if other people see me as I really am? I don't want to be oblivious or out of touch with reality. But how would I even know if I am? My interpretation of reality is colored by my own perspective, which is obviously biased.

At work it's fascinating to hear the feedback from our candidates' interviews. Sometimes the candidate's version and the employer's version are so different I wonder if we are experiencing some kind of weird sci-fi alternate-dimension-interview phenomenon. One candidate thought his interview went very well, but we found out from the employer that he was universally disliked and he even swore at one of the interviewers. Another employer complained to us how a candidate kept going on and on about his divorce, then later the candidate told us "It was strange, they didn't even ask me any personal questions."

It makes me wonder if there are things everyone else sees that I am totally missing or situations everyone else understands that I am completely misinterpreting. But how do I know what I don't know?

The only answer I can come up with is insatiable curiosity. Proceed with open arms and an open mind. Probe deeper than my initial reactions and give myself the space to consider new, alternative, perhaps even contradictory ideas and perspectives. I don't have to adopt all of them permanently, nor would I want to, but I can explore them a bit and maybe discover some new perspectives I hadn't previously considered.

With all this Who am I? and What is reality? talk, people who didn't know me would totally think I was on drugs. But whatever. I still want to know. Everything. Especially this: what is it that qualifies someone to be referred to as a saucy minx? What a fantastic expression that is.

 Maybe someday I will figure it out. Until then, I just want to see all the places and run all the races. And learn all the things about all the people.

Lyric of the moment: "I can turn it on, be a good machine. I can hold the weight of worlds if that's what you need, be your everything. I can do it, I can do it, I'll get through it. But I'm only human. And I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human. And I crash and I break down..."

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