Monday, December 1, 2014

2014 New Things #18: That time I made pie. And whipped things

It's no secret that the stove and I are not friends. Because I want it to be a Replicator from Star Trek and it refuses to be a Replicator from Star Trek. But imposing my own expectations on others is kind of a dick move. So I decided to make friends with the stove in the best way I know how: over chocolate. In total honesty, I went to the microwave first but it just burned the shit out of the dark chocolate chips I was trying to melt. As my house filled up with the stench of burning chocolate, I turned to the stove as a last resort. The stove was surprisingly cool about the whole thing and melted the chocolate easily and without incident. And then I made a dark-chocolate-pumpkin pie and a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. By myself. Like a real person. Technically I made 3 pies because over the weekend I had made a practice chocolate pumpkin pie. But to keep up my I will never be domesticated street cred, I cheated and used pre-made graham cracker crusts from the store. (And I used recipes with 7 or less ingredients. It's the express check out line equivalent of baking.) The pies were edible, or at least no one said otherwise. Out loud. And no one died. Which is the mark of a successful adventure. Plus, at Alison's house on Thanksgiving, Bob taught me how to make whipped cream using a hand mixer. Apparently if you keep whipping beyond the cream stage, you can make butter. And beyond that, who knows? Now I kind of want to whip other things and see what they turn into. But I still wish I had a Replicator. Or TARS from Interstellar, because he has a better sense of humor.

Lyric of the moment: "I'm not a simple machine. I have become something else..."

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