Thursday, January 15, 2015

Chocolate milk. And other subscriptions

I was curious about Amazon Subscribe & Save so I've been playing around with it for the past few months. The idea is that you can save money on items you buy regularly by signing up for automatic deliveries at whichever month intervals you choose. The problem for me was that usually the Subscribe & Save eligible items only come in bulk. And, like everything you buy online, there's a risk of getting something different than you expected. That is how I accidentally ended up with 30 rolls of 1 ply toilet paper. Terrible, public restroom-quality toilet paper. But as luck would have it, I saw a Facebook post from someone who needed 1 ply so I was able to give it away, then switch my subscription to the good stuff with all the plys.

If you have a shipment of at least 5 items, you can save an additional 15%. But it took a bit of trial and error to get the quantities and frequencies just right so that I'd have at least 5 items in each monthly shipment. And by trial and error, I mean mostly error. Though it has given me the opportunity to bestow some unique gifts upon Pete, like oatmeal, paper towels and toilet paper. Nothing says love like the gift of toilet paper, am I right?
Pete (after I met him at the gym and handed him a 6 pack of TP): "Thanks, honey. This is an...interesting gift."
Me: "But very useful."

These are my current subscriptions:

*Dog food for Mozzie
*Quilted Northern toilet paper
*Paper towels
*Lady parts products (read: tampons. You're welcome, dudes. I know you love reading about tampons)
*Honeystinger blueberry bars (for eating while running all the miles)
*Ghiradelli dark chocolate sea salt soiree (chocolate bars as delicious as their name is fancy)
*Chocolate milk boxes (the best post-run drink)

You can edit your subscriptions at any time, which is nice since I'm still tweaking things a bit. I like that it saves me some trips to the store, and thus the temptation to make bad impulse purchases. But I do sort of feel like a hoarder with this buy-in-bulk stuff all up in my cupboards. This week I got a delivery of toilet paper and paper towels that I think will take me all of 2015 to use. It arrived in what appeared to be a giant cardboard coffin. So that's another adventure: coming home to find some giant, oddly shaped packages hanging out on my porch. And then trying to drag them inside, unpack them and drag the boxes back outside for recycling.

I'm not sure if I will keep doing this or not. But either way, it has been a fun experiment. And having a subscription to chocolate milk is pretty much the apex of awesomeness. Now if only I had a butler and my car went all KITT from Knight Rider, suddenly becoming a talking, self-driving car. It's good to have goals.

Lyric of the moment: "Cigarettes (gross! I'm changing this to baguettes. or maybe suffragettes) and chocolate milk. These are just a couple of my cravings. Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me...And then there's those other things. Which for several reasons we won't mention. Everything about 'em is a little bit stranger, a little bit harder, a little bit deadly..."

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