Tuesday, February 23, 2016

The unbearable awesomeness of being

I use the word awesome a lot. It's not an exaggeration. It perfectly encapsulates the way I feel about most things. If you ask Mr. Thesaurus, he will tell you that some of the synonyms for awesome are:


I find that life is all of those things, sometimes simultaneously. In the moments when life feels more awful-horrible-terrible than wonderful, I try to remember that it's all part of this whole existence thing. Sometimes life is hard and shitty things happen. At those times, I remind myself that these things are true:

A) You are not alone. Chances are someone somewhere has been through the same hard thing that you are facing and survived. Chances are you will survive too. Also, people are the best, and they make the bad things better.

B) You are lucky. If you're still alive, then you're doing a lot of things right. And even in its worst moments, life is still the best.

C) Running is some kind of magic that can make you feel better about everything.

Evidence: Saturday morning I was running trails at Ellison Park. I use the term running loosely. The snow was calf deep or higher and it took me 70 minutes to go 5 miles. But it was terrific fun. And, like most runs, it turned out to be exactly what I needed. This time what I needed was a reminder. That sometimes you can't control the conditions of your life, but you can still go out and play in them. That things only become a struggle when you resist them. If you accept your current reality instead of fighting it, you will find your way through it and maybe even find joy in doing so. That the way to get through anything is one step at a time. That you might think it's a great idea to run up a steep, slippery, snow covered hill, until you have a moment of slight panic when you realize oh crap how am I going to get down from here? but it's okay because then you will shrug and think eh, worst case scenario I just slide down on my butt!

Lyric of the moment: "Oh all the days that I have run, I sought to lose that cloud that's blacking out the sun...Aimless days, uncool ways of decathecting. Painless phase, blacked out thoughts, you'll be rejecting..." ~Mike Doughty "Looking At The World From The Bottom Of A Well*

*Because I learned a new word from this song:

Decathect (verb): to withdraw one's feelings of attachment from
(a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss.

Dictionary.com gives this example: He decathected from her in order to cope with her impending death.

Pete said that if I don't hear from him for a few days while he's gone it doesn't mean that something is wrong. Apparently if he is missing or dead, someone will come and tell me in person. In lieu of decathecting, I think I will just stop answering the door.

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